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I was recently laid off from where a job where I worked for 15 years, and I am currently in the “sacred space between stories”.

Eisenstein writes in The More Beautiful World our Hearts Know is Possible:

“If you are in the sacred space between stories, allow yourself to be there. It is frightening to lose the old structures of security, but you will find that even as you might lose things that were unthinkable to lose, you will be okay. There is a kind of grace that protects us in the space between stories. It is not that you won’t lose your marriage, you money, your job or your health. In fact, it is very likely that you will lose one of these things. It is that you will discover that even having lost that, you are still okay. You will find yourself in closer contact to something much more precious, something that fires cannot burn and thieves cannot steal, something that no one can take and cannot be lost. We might lose sight of it sometimes, but it is always there waiting for us. This is the resting place we return to when the old story falls apart. Clear of its fog, we can now receive a true vision of the next world, the next story, the next place of life. From the marriage of this vision and this emptiness, a great power is born”.

Yes, this is exactly where I am.

beautiful world

 

 

 

Yes!

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Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? – Kristin Neff

 

As recommended in Brene Brown’s books, I took Kristin Neff’s self-compassion test here.

It scores you on a scale from 1 to 5, and my overall score was 3.4, which falls in the moderately self-compassionate range.   Although my score wasn’t overly high, I was pleased with my score because I am more self-compassionate than not. I know that I can do better because I can be highly critical / judgmental of myself, and I have a very difficult time with “failure”. I am trying to be kinder to myself. It’s a practice.

self compassionMy other scores so that I can see if these change over time.

Self-Kindness: 3.20
Self-Judgment: 2.80*
Common Humanity: 3.75
Isolation: 2.25*
Mindfulness: 3.50
Over-Identification: 3.00*
Overall score: 3.4

* Higher scores for the Self-Judgment, Isolation, and Over-Identification subscales indicate less self-compassion, while lower scores on these dimensions are indicative of more self-compassion.

Kristin Neff provides some self compassion exercises and meditations here.

I love Dr. Brene Brown’s Parenting Manifesto in her book, Daring Greatly. This is a book that I wish I had read a long time ago.

And you can download a copy of her manifesto here.

My heart says, yes, yes, yes. This is how I want to parent our son. What a different world it would be if we were all parented in this way.

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